FUNNY BUSINESS JOKES

What is Two and Two?

A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant, "What is two and two?"

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."

The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.

The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Brown, two and two was proven to be four.

The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice..."How much do you want it to be?"

He got the job.

Quotable Business Humor

When you make a mistake of adding the date to the right side of the accounting statement, you must add it to the left side too.
Accountant's Maxim

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
Colonel Sanders

Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world.
Andrew Young

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed'
Dorothy Parker

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Earl Wilson

Advertising is legalized lying.
H. G. Wells

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
J. Paul Getty

We were hoping to build a small profitable company; and of course, what we've done is build a large, unprofitable company.
Jeff Bezos (1964-) U.S. Businessman
 

Behind every successful man lurks a truly amazed ex-mother-in-law.
John Chrusciel

Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
Karl Marx

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
Les Dawson

Hope you got the humor!